Thursday Grab Bag: Humor Theory

A few bouts of laughter over the past two days have triggered some thoughts on humor.

Namely, an attractive, hilarious girl is a rare but beautiful thing.

I do not believe it is sexist to say that a higher percentage of guys are funnier than their female counterparts.

I have my theory as to why this is the case. Think about the essence of young boys. They're going around shooting the mailman with squirt guns and passing gas in each other's faces and calling each other names -- and laughing.

Little girls are horrified with that kind of behavior for the most part. They may call each other names, but the tears that follow aren't from laughter. That cultural difference carries into young adulthood. Guys have spent more time practicing being funny, off-color and mischievous, and therefore more guys are funny.

So yes, there are funny girls, but not as many. And there are even fewer attractive, funny girls because of HGS, or Hot Girl Syndrome. The more attractive the girl, the more likely she hasn't needed to supplement her personality to get what she wants out of life. The same is true of handsome men to some extent.

But guys are more likely to place value on looks. By necessity, males are more likely to develop a funny personality to offer something of value to potential mates.

All my local blog material this week, again, can be found on the rodeo blog.

*****

Big Ben: The Ben Roethlisberger case encapsulates every bizarre, ethically questionable issue surrounding media coverage and highlights the type of potential for public relations disaster every professional athlete faces.

Guilty or not guilty, a 31-year-old woman has accused Roethlisberger of rape in a civil suit. She alleges the incident occurred last summer in Lake Tahoe during a celebrity golf tournament.

There are several things about the case that sound fishy to me. I'm not suggesting we dismiss the allegations because Big Ben is such a "good guy," while the same allegations would stick to a more villainous figure -- but any sort of rogue allegation would create a national fervor.

The woman waited a year to bring up the allegations and did not pursue criminal charges. The timing seems suspicious -- right after Steve McNair was killed by his mistress, tainting his legacy in some circles and drawing focus to the promiscuous behavior of some athletes. It's also just before training camp, assuring a rash of stories and questions and spectacle around Roethlisberger through the early season.

Roethlisberger is denying the charges -- naturally -- this doesn't tell us much about his guilt or innocence.

The woman's story makes it difficult for me to believe her. It seems too polished and clichéd. Athlete calls acquaintance/resort worker about broken TV. Woman can't find technician. Woman checks the TV herself in Roethlisberger's room "because she had been told how important it was to please celebrities" (what does she know about TVs?).

The quarterback allegedly blocked the door, raped her and hurried her out of the room after asking about the hallway cameras and providing her a ready-made excuse. 

Is it plausible? Sure. But it's unlikely she'll be able to collaborate her story with no evidence.

*****

Fantasy baseball pickups: Mark Buehrle (really?) was available as a waiver pickup in my league today before throwing a perfect game. Somebody messed that one up.

Here's two guys to take a gander at.

Kendry Morales -- He extended his hitting streak to 20 games on Wednesday.

The 26-year-old Cuban has hit 17 home runs as the Los Angeles Angels' first baseman in his first full MLB season and his coming off a torrid month. He's available in nearly half of ESPN.com's fantasy leagues, but hurry -- he's a popular pickup at the moment.

While Morales is hitting .375 on pitches high and inside, he's just .083 on high and over the plate. Seems like in his case, a location "mistake" is the best way to work him.

Brett Anderson -- A rookie pitcher for the Oakland Athletics, Anderson has an ERA of 4.25 and only 70 Ks, pretty nondescript. He's available in over 90 percent of fantasy leagues. Why pay attention? He's given up one run in his past four starts, including a complete-game shutout at Fenway Park, and he's walked 25 batters in 95 1-3 innings.

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Links of the week: Rick Reilly wrote a column on Tiger Woods' shameful temper. I agree completely. Somehow he gets a free pass to curse on national TV and treat photographers like terrorists while his image remains pristine.

'Oh, he's just a great competitor,' people say.

I've been around a lot of competitors in my life, whether as a college athlete or during my two seasons in the NFL, and I can tell you that there are plenty of competitive people that don't act like he does during some golf tournaments.

Sure, there are plenty of football players that do the same, and incur the wrath of moms everywhere. But they're far more likely to incur pain on a normal play, and they're wearing helmets and playing on a team. Tiger's generally on TV with his face blown up the size of a normal person. In HD, it's not too difficult to read lips after a bad shot.

Here's a story from my hometown coming out of SEC media days. I'm not sure how fans treat football in these parts yet, but it can't compare to the all-eggs-in-one-basket mayhem of the South.

I assume this clip entitled Why there are no Candid Cameras in Russia is fake, but it's difficult to tell.

And, finally, a link to one of the funniest sports broadcast bloopers off all time out of Ball State in Indiana. And, boom goes the dynamite.

*****

The rodeo is racing toward conclusion, so come out to McGee Park on Friday or Saturday if you haven't been.

Stay true and keep pounding,
Christopher